Mark Johnson
Sorry to those who opened their email last Friday to find it empty. I was betting on an investor coming forth to fund my Boise Celebrity Death Match straight to VHS, found footage, claymation, documentary/pyramid scheme. I’m not saying that if someone came along to offer me a better deal than my email newsletter writing gig is currently offering, which basically includes doing whatever I want, even if that’s not writing an email, and also I can work at home with my plethora of cats, as well as use whatever grammatical rules I want, including really long run on sentences that really never go anywhere, I’d take it. I’m not saying that, but if they had candy and kittens… Anyways, for now here we are.
You know how when you live in a small town, especially pre-internet, being on TV was like a SUPER big deal. Like super. Like if a news team came to your school that day, whether it was because a math teacher had been arrested for doing stuff that wasn’t math, or because the news was covering the annual Jump Rope for Heart jumpathon, or you were in a weird play or something and good ol’ Larry was showing up at 5 am to help promote it, you would call everyone you know and tell them to watch the 5 o’clock news, with VCR fired up ready to tape your appearance if you were so lucky… If there was nothing on the five o'clock then you’d have to watch the 6 o’clock. Sometimes you’d have your 2.34 seconds of fame and sometimes you got edited out.
But the news, am I right? Big deal and of course those familiar faces that came on between Wonder Years and Little House on the Prairie for the 4 o'clock update, and then at five to let us know afternoon TV time had come to an end… unless it was Friday, then you know TGIF!!!
But anyways, you know who I’m talking about. Don Nelson, Dee Sarton, Carolyn Holly, Scott Dorval, Larry Gebert, Steve Liebenthal, (just to name a few) and of course, recently retired viral sensation Mark Johnson! I don’t really understand what happened, or why we care, but we do. I don’t want to try to explain it, but just Google “Mark Johnson” memes and see what you find. And then buy this sticker.
Please and thank you,
—Heidi
